Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard on the subject of communications came from the mouth of a self-effacing gentleman of senior years. Over a cup of coffee one morning, he leaned forward and softly said, “honey is better than vinegar”.
We were working in the same London office. Our discussion was about a work colleague who was a very prickly character. Conversations with him we were invariably fraught with tension and one always felt that you were “walking on eggshells”. There was little point in raising your voice with him or thumping the table to make yourself understood.
If you’re being faced with a difficult colleague and you need to put your point across, you must do so in a polite and calm way. If you become all aerated, you may not get the outcome you desired from the conversation!
When conference panels are under my stewardship, or if I’m facilitating a workshop or discussion, I try to ensure that those who wish to make a point can do so, without feeling threatened or intimidated by those who like to dominate the proceedings.
So if you’re attending a meeting, or you’ve been invited to speak on a panel where you need to make an important contribution, you may find these three additional tips very helpful:
1. Be properly prepared. Take with you a pen and paper, or suitable electronic device to take notes. Simple but you’d be surprised the number of people who just “wing it” in meetings and conferences.
2. When questioned, try answering like in a talk, i.e. a beginning, middle and end. Your last point should be made strongly but not in an aggressive tone.
3. Speak informally. And whatever you do, don’t come across all officious – and never use jargon.
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